So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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