so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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