Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
