D3 body, D1 cock
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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