I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
