remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize