And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
