My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
