am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
