So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
