Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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