i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's blow job season.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
