i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
