Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
