Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
