ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
