Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
