May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
