champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
