Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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