hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
