is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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