so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
