Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
