The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
