thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
