this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
