Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
