haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
