Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
