I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
