Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize