help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
