I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
