At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
