he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Well I just put wine in my tea
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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