well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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