I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
