We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
