So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
