My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
