THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
