According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
