24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize