Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just found puke in my bra..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
