how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
