We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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