oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
