The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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