i would punch a child for taco bell
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
