Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
