I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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