I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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