He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize