She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
