Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
