Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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